How to Safely Exit a Bad Date
No matter how much you think you know someone from their profile, sometimes a date just doesn’t go as planned. Maybe you have little in common, the conversation falls flat, or something they say or do makes you uneasy. Your gut may be simply telling you that something’s off—or even sending an urgent signal to get out of there. Whatever the reason, remember that it’s okay to leave at any time for any reason.
Here are five tips for safely exiting a bad date:
1. Plan Ahead
When you’re going on a first date, it’s always best to meet in a public place (a requirement on Twyned), be in charge of your transportation, and tell someone you trust about your plans.
It’s also helpful to have a few exit lines prepared ahead of time in case things go awry, such as “I have an early day tomorrow and need to get home” or “I’m meeting up with a friend soon, so I should get going.” You can also be honest about not feeling a connection if you sense you’re not at risk of a hostile reaction. Or, if you’re feeling uncomfortable or unsafe, you can discreetly text a trusted friend to call or rescue you if needed.
Having a clear exit strategy gives you peace of mind so you’re not scrambling in the moment trying to figure out what to do next.
2. Be Aware of Red Flags
Someone may seem great on paper but, in person, be a walking red flag. It’s important to stay attuned to red flags so that you can keep yourself safe.
Curious what to look out for? Check out our list of common red flags.
3. Trust Your Gut
Perhaps they don’t exhibit any particular red flags but, instead, leave you feeling uneasy or uncomfortable. Your intuition is powerful—don’t second guess it. If something feels off, even if you can’t quite place why, that’s enough of a reason to leave.
4. Involve Staff if Necessary
If you find yourself in an unsafe situation on a date, don’t hesitate to ask a staff member for help. Many venues are trained to provide discreet support in these situations. You can ask them to call a cab, contact a family or friend on your behalf, or assist you in safely exiting the venue. Some places will have code words you can use, such as “Angela” at many bars, to signal you’re in danger and need help.
5. Stay in a Well-Lit, Public Area
Finally, when you exit the venue, make sure to stay in a well-lit, public area where others are around. You could even stay on the phone with a friend until you get home or to a safe location.
Remember: your safety and well-being are always more important than being polite or protecting someone’s feelings. You don’t have to suffer through a date, even if you’re not necessarily at risk of harm—and you have every right to leave. You deserve to feel safe and respected every step of the way.
